light and happiness


{my new mantra... Travel light. Live light. Be the light. Spread the light. 
Sweatshirt from SuperLoveTees}

Last night I spoke too soon... and had a very obvious reminder that all were not on the mend... and that parenting gets real as soon as vomit hits the pillow.

This morning I found myself alone at the grocery store, tired and punchy from lack of sleep, anxious to get home to a husband and son under the weather, a daughter dancing for attention. And yet...

And yet I had a smile on my face for the check out lady who commented on the fact that my bill was just under $100... and "not many people get out of the store for less than that!" {I high fived myself, as that never happens in this household these days!} And I had a spring in my step as I pushed the cart back into the stall, knowing my next errand was to the beach for a quick picture to send across the ocean.

As I approached the beach road, the sky darkened. It looked as though storms were rolling in, so I drove up the coast where the light was bright. Pulling into the parking lot of my childhood beach I noticed the merging of light and dark in the sky, abiding together. Almost complementing each other as clouds mixed with the blue sky and light shimmered on the ocean in bits and pieces. I stood in awe of the brilliance. The glittering. My heart felt open and full. Light danced in my eyes as I snapped a few pictures and I took a breath of the first real warm spring air before getting back into the car. If it weren't for the car load of groceries, and the sick family, I would have been tempted to stay.

Driving home songs came on the radio that made my smile grow wide and tears might have stung the corners of my eyes... {Happy and House of Gold}I blared the radio and felt the vibrations in my chest. Spring air and sweet music and hearing my voice sing along... going to home to my loved ones... gratitude for the moment filled me and space opened.

The radio played:

Because I'm happy 
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof 
Because I'm happy 
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth 
Because I'm happy 
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you 
Because I'm happy 
Clap along if you feel like that's what you wanna do 

{lyrics to Happy by Pharrell Williams}

I'm left tonight thinking about these words, the ability to see happiness as truth. Maybe happiness isn't the word you'd use for what I felt today. Maybe spirit. Happy is a tough word because there's so much attached to it. But ultimately, I want to feel happiness even in the dark times. Gratitude. And with that comes opening. That's what I find on my yoga mat. A playfulness. A calmness. And the more I practice with that, the more I can find that feeling out in the big wide world. Even when sleep wasn't an option the night before. Even when clouds come in and when I'd rather have a clear view of the brilliant sky. Even when the unexpected drops in and calm is the farthest thing from my mind... that feeling of happiness. Light. Even in chaos. It's attainable.

I'll clap along to that.

{My friend Janine and I are declaring Friday's Beach Fridays from now on! We share on our instagram feeds every week - come check us out and particpate if you feel led to! We use the hashtag #mybeachfriday}


  1. What a brilliant post! I especially how you said, " Happy is a tough word" , as it does have a lot attached to it. Well done you on having what sounds like a rather brilliant day. :)

  2. "I want to feel happiness even in the dark times. Gratitude. And with that comes opening."

    Yes, me too. Hope today is better!


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