Sunday, March 30, 2014

finding the exhale

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It's been a month and a half - ish - since my last post. I knew I needed a break from this online space to try and figure out what I wanted this little corner of the big online world to be... but I didn't realize how much I needed to step away. It was good.

I have been diving deeper into my yoga practice, and not just the asanas... but I've been finding myself enjoying more of the yoga lifestyle. The breath work. The mind work. Learning about the eight limbs and putting them into practice little by little. I'm finding myself wanting more magic in my life... more chakra talk and exploration... maybe a book on crystals will find its way home from the library at some point. You never know!

But most importantly I've spent time finding my breath. I hadn't realized that I lost it, but I did. I hadn't realized that I'd been holding my breath, not getting to the exhale, not getting to the point of fully releasing many, many things.

Back in early March I started to get messages in my inbox from Google Domains about renewing this space. The url. And messages regarding the inability to do so because the card I used for payment had expired. Even when I changed the payment, I still received those same messages. And so I made peace with the fact that maybe this space would be no longer on March 28th, 2014. And then magically {cue sarcasm} the domain renewed and this space is still sitting here, waiting for me. But it was a lesson in attachment. On and off of the yoga mat I've been practicing less attachment. It's not easy, to just accept what is - to not invest in the outcome, to not focus on how far your body can stretch but to enjoy how it is stretching and what a pose looks like as is, not what it could be if you were more limber or thinner, or if your muscles were stronger. Your muscles are working as hard as they can, in the form that they can, at any given moment. Yes, work towards strength. Yes, work towards bettering yourself. But ultimately, appreciate your body and soul where they are in this specific moment.

Metaphor much?

There have been lots of lessons recently. And I'm taking them all in, learning from them, and spending much time with my little family acknowledging where each of us are right now. On the cusp of April, on the cusp of many things but right where we need to be. I'll leave you on this rainy Sunday with some pictures I snapped of the kids earlier in the month... thankfully the rain we've had has washed almost all of the snow away, making room for the soggy ground and buds on the trees. Onward, my friends. Lets enjoy what is, in this moment. Goofy smiles and rolling eyes and muddy ground beneath our feet.


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